Gina was on my mind a lot at that time, especially with Christmas coming up. We had been going there to make cookies together for years. Gina's favorite cookies had been the Russian Tea Cakes, and that recipe was tied to her memory for me like no other. The physical copy of the recipe that I had was in her hand-writing, but there was just something about the cookie itself that reminded me of her. They were mysterious, pristine in their whiteness, delicate and cheerful. In short, they were precious in the most sincere meaning of the word.
We always preferred the name "Russian Tea Cakes" because it was the first name by which we heard them called but also because it was so much more ritzy and refined-sounding than any other name, such as Mexican Wedding Cookies. Perhaps it made us think of the "Russian Tea Room," which always sounded mysterious and magical. Then, of course, there was the word "tea" in the name. Gina was synonymous with tea. She never went anywhere without her cup of tea--which she'd invariably let steep for about 15 minutes (and it was always Lipton). Mom and I used to joke that we were surprised that it was cancer that got Gina because we'd always been sure she was going to have a car accident. She was always fiddling with something--a video for the boys in the backseat, a cassette, a radio station, or that damned cup of boiling hot tea on the dashboard. Actually, I don't remember her ever spilling so much as a drop of tea while driving. Talk about mysterious!
Gina's devotion to tea was such that she and I actually swore a pact when we were teenagers that we would 1) never smoke, 2) not have sex before we got married, and 3) never drink coffee--it was tea or nothing. Neither of us ever did smoke, and we kept mum about number two, but she always thought I was a traitor for becoming a coffee-drinker, even though I didn't have my first cup till I was 21 and studying in France. Well, if you're going to be unfaithful, you should at least make it a worthwhile dalliance, although I've consequently spent most of my life trying to recapture the essence of that first cup of café au lait that made me fall irretrievably in love with coffee. More of a curse than a blessing, really. Tea is my true love in my heart of hearts.
As the younger sister who was short and misshapen--anorexic hands and ankles with a butt and hips that would make any Venus statue proud--Gina's tall(er), slim, delicate, big-busted form was my ideal of beauty. I remember once when I had put on a dress to go to a party. The dress was gathered at the waist and not exactly flattering to my figure, but it was red and I'd sewn it myself, so I was keen to wear it. Gina, in her naive fashion, not being able to comprehend that not everyone was built like her, poked a finger at my hip and asked, dumbfounded, "What's that? [pause] It's not your...?" Her voice faded away as realization dawned. Then she poked again, unable to comprehend what her eyes were telling her. "Yes, yes, those are my hips," I replied disgustedly, already turning away to put on something else more flattering. I never wore that dress again, although I did try it on once more just to confirm that she was right. It did look humanly impossible to have hips that jutted out so extremely.
Gina always seemed to know--innately--what to wear. I tried to borrow clothes from her--tops, not bottoms, of course, but she fussed at me so much for stretching out the ribbing on the bottom that I eventually quit. In fact, Gina even dressed me till I was about 16 when she abruptly abandoned me cold turkey style, leaving me to figure out my own wardrobe, directions to places and any other major life decisions that come a 16-year-old's way. I've often contemplated what could have caused her to do that, but I guess I'll never know. She was probably in her first year of college and was feeling constricted by the ties that bound her to the little monster she'd created. Oh, yes, there was quite a bit of squalling on my part when she cut that umbilical cord! But I survived, as she knew I would. It's just a shame that the connection was never really made again until that call in August, 2002, when she told me she'd been diagnosed with stage four ovarian cancer. For a few very brief seconds we both let our defenses down and cried together as we realized what it meant. Before we immediately shoved every brick succinctly, if not quite exactly, back into place, where they would pretty well remain in tact for the next four and a half years.
Like anyone who is so perfectly in control (on the surface, at least), Gina managed to walk that fine line of being loving, tender and caring without really letting anyone in. She was oddly emotional and yet private. As someone with a reputation for being temperamental, I find Gina's emotional household, as the Germans might say, to be an enigma. Yes, she was very much like these cheerful little snowballs that crumbled if held too tightly and were messy to eat, annoying and yet endearing.
So with all these and many more memories floating around in the back of my mind, I set about to do something with that recipe for Russian Tea Cakes that I had in Gina's hand-writing on a slip of pink stationery. I think I must have been inspired, really. I did a bit of research into using oil instead of butter in recipes and came up with what I thought would be a good equivalent to the cake flour that I should use to make the switch. I figured more people would have AP flour and cornstarch hanging around than cake flour and I didn't want to discourage anyone from making the recipe. I also wanted to follow the prerequisites as set out by the magazine: the new recipe must be "healthier" than the old. So I exchanged some of the white flour for white whole wheat (giving the cookies a slightly yellow/brown tinge didn't hurt since they were coated twice in powdered sugar) and cut back the salt and sugar. Believe me, none of these decisions happened overnight. I made many, many batches of these cookies before I settled on the final recipe. However, I still think I had some sort of spiritual guidance because I ended up with a vegan recipe that was lower in sodium, lower in cholesterol, lower in calories, and higher in fiber than the original recipe with all the saturated fat cut out. How amazing is that?
So seldom in life do we get the proverbial gift that keeps giving, but this recipe has been just that for me. I was in a bookstore once and found this recipe in an Eating Well Cookbook. It gave me chills. I just wish they'd acknowledged the story behind it. In fact, I periodically trawl the internet to check on the websites displaying this recipe and try to make sure that they include the original story. Most people are more than obliging. I'm learning to be nicer about it although it's hard to not get angry when people try to pass it off as their own. It's Gina's recipe, Gina's story. In my mind it's the unofficial ovarian cancer cookie ;-) It's a pleasant way of keeping Gina's memory alive and keeping people aware of this horrid disease. At my last count, this recipe was on over 25 websites. You know how they say an angel gets its wings every time a bell rings? I like to think that something similar happens every time someone makes this recipe.
Eating Well Magazine article:
Working on this makeover of a classic Russian Tea Cake made Bridget Klein feel closer to her late sister, Gina, because they are “a great match for her personality: delicate and refined, pretty to look at, and yet a definite character that inspires adoration and loyalty.” Gina's middle name, Sarah, means “princess,” in Hebrew; hence the name of these confections. Klein's mom “swore these cookies couldn't be made without butter,” she says, “until she tasted them.” Klein continues: “Gina was a traditionalist, too, but I think I might have been able to fool her with these.”
Makes 3 dozen cookies
ACTIVE TIME: 40 minutes
TOTAL TIME: 2 hours
EASE OF PREPARATION: Easy
3/4 cup canola oil
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 cup white whole-wheat flour
2 cups confectioners’ sugar, divided
3 tablespoons cornstarch
1/8 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
3/4 cup very finely chopped nuts, such as pecans, walnuts or hazelnuts
- Preheat oven to 400°F.
- Pour oil into a medium bowl. Whisk all-purpose flour, white whole-wheat flour, 1/4 cup confectioners’ sugar, cornstarch and salt in another bowl.
- Mix half the dry ingredients into the oil by spoonfuls. Scrape down the sides of the bowl and add vanilla. Mix in the remaining dry ingredients by spoonfuls until thoroughly combined. (The mixture will resemble creamed butter and brown sugar.) Stir in nuts.
- Roll the dough into 1-inch balls; place about 1 inch apart on an ungreased baking sheet.
- Bake the cookies until just set, being careful not to let the bottoms get too brown, 10 to 12 minutes. Cool on the pan for 2 minutes; transfer to a wire rack to cool slightly.
- When the cookies are still warm, but no longer hot, roll them in the remaining 1 3/4 cups confectioners’ sugar and place them back on the rack to continue cooling. (Reserve the sugar.) When the cookies are completely cool, roll them in the sugar again.
1 Carbohydrate Serving
Exchanges: 1 other carbohydrate, 1 fat
MAKE AHEAD TIP: Prepare the dough (Steps 2 and 3), cover and refrigerate for up to 1 day. Store the cookies in an airtight container at room temperature for up to 3 days. Roll in the second coating of confectioners’ sugar just before serving.
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