Bad Girl(s)

Gina was a bad girl yesterday: she barely slept all day and she hadn't slept well the night before. She also didn't sleep well last night. Mom sat beside her from 2 AM till about 8:30 AM. Mom is up all night going in to check Gina, anyway. They're both bad girls. If Mom doesn't get more sleep, she won't be able to help take care of Gina.

Also, the night before last Gina was very cantankerous. I went in twice because her machines were beeping and she wouldn't let me look at them but insisted on fixing them herself--even though she kept nodding off. It's hard to be patient in the middle of the night! She was also talking a little crazy, which she does from time to time anyway. I guess it's all the drugs she's taking, but lack of sleep would definitely do that to me, I'm sure.

Gus and Pat left yesterday. It was really nice having them here. Pat helped with the cooking and Gus kept the compost buckets emptied :-) Gus massaged Gina's legs for a long time, giving him some private time alone with her, which she wanted. She rubbed some Ben gay (sp?) on her wrists because she said they were hurting her (they hurt again last night).

I worked a puzzle with Mary yesterday because I thought she was feeling neglected. Mom, Pat and the boys helped, too.

We were looking at the suction machine for Gina's G tube yesterday. It didn't seem to be working, although we fiddled with all the knobs and even changed the tube in case there was a leak. Maybe Mitch can figure it out. Using the bag and draining purely by gravity seems to be working quite well. She drained a whole lot yesterday. I finally got her to try lying more on her side, leaning a bit towards her stomach, and it seemed to drain really well, but I don't know if it would have drained the same if she'd been in any other position, and it was quite painful for her or she was very nauseous afterwards.

Towards night-time she started feeling very full in her abdomen, and this seemed to really scare her. She kept saying, "This is all going so fast," which she's said to me before. Dr Dimitroff said that she shouldn't have any fluid build-up in her abdomen. He also pointed out that she may feel full because of the huge pain pump in her belly. On the other hand, her stomach, he said, is very distended. This is why she needs to try several positions to drain her tube. Her stomach has stretched down from where the tube is located. When she asked him how long she had left, he replied that no one knows how long anyone has left. She then asked him what to expect next, to which he replied that the cancer had her intestines and they just had to wait to see what it got next, whether it be her heart or lungs. I know she's also become aware that her breathing is shallower than it used to be.

I think Gina being upset about her abdomen feeling full made Fred upset. He mentioned it several times and seemed to think it was something the nurse had said, but I don't think so. That particular nurse has had cervical cancer and can understand what Gina is going through in a way that none of us can.

Speaking of "visitors," no one has minded the dogs yet! What a relief!

The boys went to a Boy Scout Blue and Gold Luncheon yesterday with Jim. Erik had to color a placemat and cups with pictures pertaining to the Hawaiian theme and they came back with a palm tree party favor.

Further on the theme of fathers and sons, Dad and Fred had a big blowout yesterday. Short but sweet. Dad finds Fred annoying and therefore tries to annoy Fred. Well, he pushed Fred's buttons and then Fred let him have it verbally. It made him feel better, but I doubt if it got through to Dad. Fred just wants the respect Dad gives any stranger.

Erik had his usual tantrums/freak out scenes. Jim said he hadn't had his Effexor (anti-depressant?) that day or the day before, so they got him to take it finally, then he went to his room and when he came out later everything was kosher. I tried to give him some positive reinforcement when he went to bed (around 10:15 PM--argh!), telling him that everyone really enjoys being around him when he's being calm, that he's such a great little boy and that it's his choice as to whether he lets himself get stressed out or takes a breath and stays calm, cool and collected. He made a joke about getting a "terrible lesson" from his aunt. I made sure to kiss both the boys goodnight. Jim was out playing basketball.

Oh, we saw some deer out in the back yard yesterday! One was huge!

Pat and I had an interesting time trying to explain to Erik yesterday why it's alright to have a Krispy Kreme donut for breakfast but not a Hostess cupcake. He and Alec wanted to eat them up as soon as possible before Dad demolished them.

We had an interesting dinner last night. I made pizza dough, Mom made the sauce and Fred assembled the pizzas. They were delish! Since I was in the yeast dough mode, I made cinnamon rolls. Alec helped me knead the dough--he did great! What can I say, it's in his blood.

I've made up a medication chart and put up notes about how to do this or that. I hope people pay attention to them and use them. I think it's so important to keep track of when someone's had which medication. Also, I think we should be keeping track of how much come out of her G Tube. Everyone's been very good about that. Speaking of meds, I had a good conversation with the nurse who's had cancer. She was able to give me advice about nausea meds. She stressed that we need to be keeping Gina on them regularly, not just when she felt really ill, so that they can be most effective, just like with pain meds.

Oh, the lasix seems to be working. Gina's legs aren't as swollen as they were.

Mary and I are going home today. There's supposed to be an ice storm here tonight. We'll be back in a week. Mom says she's freaking out, but she can always call me. I hope Fred will continue the blog.